Dribbling and Passing: Part 2. Teaching Patience and Balance (Ages 5–9)
Part of the “Money on the Field” Series within Developing Long-Term Habits
When my son was about six years old, I decided it was time to teach him how to dribble a soccer ball. I expected it to be simple. After all, dribbling is one of those skills that becomes automatic after years of playing. You no longer think about the number of touches or the angle of your foot, you just move.
But when I handed him the ball and told him to “keep it close,” he took off down the field like a runaway train. The ball bounced five feet ahead, rolled toward the sideline, and he chased after it laughing the whole way. I laughed too, but it was a powerful reminder of how hard it is to control something that’s in motion. For a child, kicking hard feels natural. Slowing down and keeping the ball close does not. It takes focus, patience, and repetition.
That realization helped me see how similar soccer is to learning about money. When kids first start handling money, their instinct is to spend it all at once. It feels exciting to have something new and powerful in their hands. But just as a soccer player must learn to control the ball before they can make a meaningful pass, a child must learn to control their money before they can grow financially. Patience and balance are the keys to both.
The Principle: Control Before Speed
Between the ages of five and nine, children begin to experience real choices for the first time. They may receive small gifts of money, start earning from small chores, or get their first allowance. These are important opportunities for them to practice control and make independent financial decisions.
The principle to teach at this stage is simple but profound: control must come before speed. In soccer, the player who can’t dribble cannot pass or shoot effectively. They have to learn touch before they can learn tactics. The same is true with money. The child who can’t control spending will never be able to save or plan for bigger goals. Learning to slow down, think, and act with intention is the foundation of both financial and personal success.
The Habit You Are Building: Patience and Balance
The habits you’re building during this stage are patience and balance. Patience helps a child wait for something better rather than chasing every short-term desire. Balance teaches that money can serve multiple purposes at once: it can be enjoyed, saved, and shared.
Together, these habits help children develop emotional maturity and financial awareness. They learn that money is not about restriction or indulgence—it’s about wise management. When patience and balance become second nature, children begin to make decisions calmly and confidently. That’s what financial control looks like at its earliest and most important stage.
How to Teach It
Just as you wouldn’t explain dribbling in a lecture, you can’t explain financial control through words alone. Children learn best through hands-on repetition and small wins that make abstract ideas concrete.
The following Parent Drills are simple, practical ways to teach patience and balance at home. Each one reinforces control, awareness, and the value of waiting—without making the process feel like a chore.
Parent Drill #1: The Three Goal Jars
This is one of the most effective and visual tools for teaching financial control. Create three jars or containers labeled Spend, Save, and Give. Whenever your child receives money—whether through allowance, chores, or a gift—have them divide it among the three jars.
Explain that the Spend jar is for small, immediate pleasures, like buying a small toy or treat. The Save jar is for something bigger they want later, such as a new game, a book, or a family experience. The Give jar is for sharing and helping others.
The exact amounts placed in each jar are less important than the act of dividing. You might suggest that half goes to spending, a portion to saving, and a smaller portion to giving, but allow your child some freedom to choose. The point is to make money allocation an intentional process.
Over time, children begin to understand that money can be used for multiple purposes. When they finally use their Save jar for something they’ve waited for, take the opportunity to connect the dots. Say, “You made this happen because you waited and planned.” That sense of accomplishment reinforces patience more effectively than any lecture could.
The Give jar, on the other hand, creates opportunities for generosity and empathy. Encourage your child to think about where they would like their giving money to go. It could be a contribution to their school fundraiser, a small donation to your family’s church, or even buying a birthday gift for a friend. The act of giving connects their financial actions to emotional rewards. When they see the happiness their gift brings, they learn that money is more than a tool for personal enjoyment—it’s a way to bring joy and connection to others.
This one exercise—spending, saving, and giving in balance—teaches more about money than most adults learned as children. It’s simple, consistent, and builds the muscle of control one decision at a time.
Parent Drill #2: The Waiting Game
Patience is one of the most underrated financial skills, and this drill teaches it naturally. The next time your child asks for something, resist the urge to say “no” or to buy it immediately. Instead, respond with, “Let’s wait three days and see if you still want it.”
If your child remembers the item after three days and still wants it, encourage them to use their own Spend money. If they forget or lose interest, celebrate that as a success. You can say, “It’s great that you waited. Now you can use your money for something you’ll really enjoy.”
This waiting period introduces a crucial concept: time as a decision-making tool. When children pause before acting, they begin to distinguish between short-term impulses and lasting desires. They also learn that waiting doesn’t mean losing—it means choosing wisely.
As your child gets older, you can extend the waiting period to a week or longer for bigger purchases. Each time they practice waiting, they are strengthening the discipline that will one day help them avoid debt, overspending, and financial stress.
Parent Drill #3: The Shared Giving Experience
Generosity adds depth to financial understanding. It reminds children that money carries emotional and social meaning. When your child has built up a small amount in their Give jar, involve them in the process of deciding where it should go.
Ask them questions such as, “Who do you think could use some help right now?” or “Is there a cause or person you’d like to support?” Let them take ownership of the decision. Perhaps they’ll contribute to a school fundraiser, donate to their church, or spend a few dollars to buy a gift for a friend’s birthday.
After they give, talk about what happened. Ask how it felt to share, what they noticed about the person they helped, and what they learned. Giving helps children feel connected and purposeful. It teaches them that money is not just about personal gain—it’s a resource that can improve the lives of others.
When generosity becomes part of their financial routine, it also becomes part of their identity. That emotional connection is what transforms financial literacy into financial character.
What to Avoid
When teaching patience and balance, avoid turning the process into a rigid system. The goal is consistency, not control. Allow flexibility and celebrate effort as much as results. You don’t want your child to associate money management with stress or guilt.
Also, avoid “rescuing” them when they make mistakes. If they spend all their money on something trivial and later regret it, resist the temptation to cover the cost of what they now want more. That brief moment of disappointment is part of the lesson. It teaches the value of saving and the cost of impulsive decisions.
Finally, refrain from labeling money choices as good or bad. Instead, talk about them as experiences. Ask, “What did you notice?” or “What would you do differently next time?” These small reflections build awareness without shame, helping children grow in confidence and judgment.
The Bigger Lesson: Control Creates Freedom
In soccer, a player who can control the ball can move anywhere on the field. They no longer chase the play, they direct it. The same principle applies to money. The child who learns to manage their spending and share with balance gains control over their life. They stop reacting to every desire and begin making choices that align with their values and goals.
Patience teaches them to wait for the right opportunity. Balance teaches them how to allocate their resources. Together, these habits create financial freedom and emotional resilience. These are not skills that fade; they compound over time and become the habits that shape adult success.
Coach’s Reflection
One of my favorite moments as a coach is when a young player finally slows down, keeps their head up, and moves the ball with control instead of panic. In that moment, the game changes. They stop chasing and start thinking. They begin to see possibilities instead of problems.
That is the same transformation you create when you teach your child patience and balance with money. You’re showing them how to control what’s in their hands, to wait before acting, and to think about others in the process. Those small, repeated moments of awareness will compound into lifelong confidence.
Control before speed. Patience before power. Those lessons serve both on the soccer field and in life.
Next in the Series: Game Day Goals: Teaching Routine and Purpose (Ages 9–13)
In the next article, we’ll build on this foundation by helping your child develop financial structure and consistency. You’ll learn how to introduce simple routines, set savings goals, and make money management part of their weekly rhythm—because routine is where good habits become second nature.